Pregnancy journal: full term

As of today I am 37 weeks and considered full term. This means I can officially go into labor and they'll let me deliver at the birthing center! Two weeks ago we had a little false alarm and my midwife had to send us to the hospital to deliver. Luckily everything resolved itself and we were able to go home. We were grateful for the hospital and the doctors and equipment that could help in case of an emergency (since he would have been 2 weeks early), but sad thinking that we wouldn't have the birth we had planned (at our birth center with my midwife). We are very grateful that our baby has now reached full term.

I've had a lot of inconsistent contractions and back pain for the last two weeks, but nothing too bad. Then last night I was having constant painful contractions and cramping for about 3 hours and then they calmed down and I had them every few minutes along with back pain for the rest of the night. I was able to fall asleep at some point and when I woke up I was sore and have had a few little ones, but nothing consistent. Last night we thought it might be the real deal. Changing positions, drinking water, bath, laying down...nothing made them go away so I tried to prepare myself for possibly having my baby soon. It was very painful, but on the bright side it was great practice for using my breathing and relaxation techniques. It was good practice for Clarke too in helping me relax and remain calm.

All this "false labor" (I don't really like this term because I'm thinking and hoping that these contractions have been productive in helping my body prepare for birth...let's call it "practice labor") has made me feel like I need to be ready at any moment. At the same time all these "false alarms" (I don't like this term either...oh well...) are having me feel like it's NEVER going to be real! I'm trying to stay open to any possibilities. It's possible that last night was the beginning and I could go into active labor in the next few days or I could just have prodromal labor for weeks and finally deliver at 43 weeks or something (this is an exaggeration...baby please come before 43 weeks!)...just trying to accept that I have no idea what my body's telling me for now. Also trying to trust that my body is just doing what it needs to to prepare and that real labor will start at the right time for us whether that's earlier or later than I may expect.

P.S. I know this was a pretty boring post and probably TMI, but I use this blog as a journal for pregnancy. The point is to document this experience not to complain or unload on others. :) I just wanted to say that cause reading through this I sound a little complain-y. Sorry about that and know that I am a very happy pregnant mama! :)